I am amazed. I could not sleep at all last night, I was thinking about what I wrote and started feeling extremely guilty. I thought that what I wrote was completely selfish, and everyone didn't really need to hear my sob story. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I just wanted you to all understand why I may be slightly detached from some of you, or why I don't respond to some things very rapidly. Mindi, if you read this one, I felt guilty the whole time I was typing this because I cannot imagine going through what you have, I don't know what it would be like to have a baby with any kind of problem.
I also just wanted to clarify, that I don't see your comments as a reflection of how you all feel about me as a person. I just think I wanted to think that more people cared about my blog, and I have just been under immense stress so I thought I would take it out on my blog.
I really appreciate all the comments you have left me. Everyone has made me feel much better, but a little sad at the same time. I wasn't looking for people to try to reassure me or feel bad for me. I feel like I told you stuff that you didn't care to hear. I am just really paranoid that you all thought my post was crazy and selfish, but all your comments have helped me feel a little bit better about me.
I guess I shouldn't say farewell completely, because in the future I may have time to pick it up again, or I may have some huge story that I really want to share. As I said, I am on facebook. I have found that it is much easier to write a sentence about what is going on. So if you are not friends with me on facebook and would like to be, I am under HOLLY LOVE CARBINE.
Thanks again to all of you for being understanding. You are all very, very sweet. And I will set a new goal to comment on all of your blogs more often!
13 comments:
So true Holly, it is A LOT easier to write one sentence on FB! I love that! Don't worry about blogging, just do what's easiest for you.
I would not worry one second about how your post came across. To me when I read it just made me love you all the more because it was so honest and so much of the time none of us are willing to admit that our lives are not perfect and we get feeling down on ourselves. In a way it is refreshing to know I am not alone in my thoughts sometimes, we all feel them. We can all relate perfectly to what you said, I am sure of it!
Hey Holly, guess what no one reads or comments on my blog either, but that's ok because my blog is lame, I just like to write just because! Anyway I always read your blog! I just don't comment because I just don't. Holly you really are amazing! I'm proud to call you my sister! Even if you always try to set me up, jk! I love you! Plus who is one to judge another! I don't think anyone is judging.
Hang in there Holly, I know you have strength that most of us lack
Ditto to what everyone else said.....I too Love You Holly, more than you will ever know! You are lucky to have those two cute little girls, and a wonderful husband! Sometimes life gets hard, and its okay! No one expects you to be perfect, and nobody is! Like others have said, everyone has their problems, its just some people decided to talk about them! Love You Holly! I need to just call you and see how everything is going. Its crazy you have all this on your blog, I feel like I check it everyday...which I do, and all the sudden all this, what kind of a sister am I...obviously not a very good one! Cant say it enough...I Love You!
Annie is right! Her blog is lame.
Holly...I just ran across your blog... I'm sorry you feel this way! I too am struggling..I don't blog much because I am busy or try to keep myself busy...but I don't know ANYBODY in this area and I've been here over a year now! I think you are a darling girl...and a darling family. Lets get to know each other better...lets go for a walk...or go watch a movie....etc... I need a friend too to help pull me out of this funk! Hang in there girl....It will get better!
LOL, that's why I've been facebooking more than blogging lately!
Holly, I know that for me personally I was glad to read what you wrote, and I didn't feel at all that you were being selfish. You can't compare your trials to others because what each of us goes through is hard for us, and nobody else (except our Savior) can really know how we feel.
Your trials and your feelings are real, and they are important.
Holly, you are beautiful and smart and talented and you are easy to love. You are so giving and so good about thinking of others. But you can't forget that you need to take care of you, too. You are a wonderful mother, and your girls are so sweet. (I swear, can I please please steal them?) It is hard for me to open up sometimes too, and I feel bad because Liz and I have always been friends and then Mom and her daughters are close, so I worry that you feel left out in a way. I hope you do know how much I love you and look up to you. And I swear whatever it takes I will be there for you more, in any way I can. Okie dokie?
I know you have been through a lot! And I'm sorry, it sucks!
Since you were honest with us, I'm going to be downright honest with you.
this is just my opinion.
I don't think you should give up blogging.
I think you should change your focus with blogging. It shouldn't be about who's reading it, or who's comments (although, I totally get the need for validation).
To me, blogging is a great way to come and let off steam, vent about all the crap the sucks, or the good stuff, and leave it there, get it off your chest!
And just so you know, people who have a ton of comments are registered on a blog forum, so other bloggers can find them.
You should start a private blog, just for you, just so you can get everything off your chest.
I have one. And I don't hold back because I know no one is reading it, and no one will get offended. It's very liberating!
Holly---I had no idea about all your "fun" happenings lately! You hang in there...you are one tough chica! And keep bloggin..if it makes YOU happy. I don't really care for it either..its just one more thing to do, but I know that people like to check up on things and its one way to do it. Hang in there and let me know if you need anything! I will see you tomorrow!!!!
Darling family picture by the way!!!
Hi Holly. This is Holli DeHaan. I found your blog through someone else (although I can't remember who) but anyways I always love to look at your blog. I have never commented on anyone's blog and by reading your last couple posts it makes me sad that I haven't. You are such a sweetie and I'm so glad to know you. Hang in there ok? I am so sorry things are though right now. Good things come to those who are faithful. Your in my prayers. Love ya.
I'm glad you are feeling better :) Don't apologize to me, i've said it a million times that just because my trial is public doesn't make it any worse than anyone elses trails. We all have different things going on in life and they are all equally hard to deal with :) Congratulations.. i had no idea!!
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