I know that a lot of people who read my blog have three kids or know someone who does. So, here is the deal. I was so excited to have Kaylee and Abbie and I felt ready for them several months before my due date. For some reason, I have been having mixed emotions about this one. I am down to around six weeks, which is still a while, I know. But, I just don't feel ready for three kids, I don't know what it is. Is it that I feel overwhelmed lately with 2?? Did I get myself into something I wont be able to handle?? Is it that I haven't pulled the clothes out?? I think that no matter how much "stuff" I have ready for her, I am not going to be ready for her. I am very fortunate that Kaylee is so old, I know there are a lot of you who have three children that are all very young and very close in age. Tomorrow is Abbies 3rd birthday and Kaylee will be 6 later this year, so it is not like I will have 3 babies or even 2 for that matter. Kaylee will be going off to kindergarten in a few months.
Another thing is that I have actually felt a little bit guilty about having her. First off, Jon still has a year of school left--- just to get his bachelors, and a lot of people think you should get your education before having kids. Secondly, we live in my in-laws house-- given they are going on a mission and we are "house sitting" for the next two years, but we don't even have our own place. Do those two things make us too unstable to have any more kids?? And finally, there are a lot of people who want to be parents so badly or want more children, and have not been able to get pregnant. And it is people who are done with school or nearing completing their masters, people that have homes and are settled in life. It makes me feel bad that people struggle so badly with this and I get pregnant extremely easily.
By the way, I am not saying that I don't want this baby or am not excited I am having her, I am very excited! But logically, I feel like it doesn't make sense right now to be having her. I know whithout a doubt that my children have been sent to me when they were supposed to. I am sure everything is going to work out, but how do I emotionally prepare for baby #3??? How do I get over this emotional battle I am dealing with?? Does anyone have suggestions?
4 comments:
I have heard that if you wait for just the right moment to have a baby, it will never happen, there is never just the right moment to have a baby. There will always be something whether it's school, unemployment, young children already at home, whatever the reason you could always find something to say it's just not the right time. I am a firm believer children come when they are supposed to, heavenly father wouldn't send you this baby if he didn't feel you were up to the task. Though I will say for me three has been hard, I still don't feel like I am in the swing of things yet and Katelynn is almost six weeks old. But she brings so much joy just like any new baby. You will be wonderful with three
Oh Hollie.....you are so sweet. I truly think that babies are sent when they are supposed to come. Sometimes I look at my sisters who just pop babies out, and me it takes a whole lot longer. However I know there are other things in their lives that they struggle with that come easier for me, ya know what I mean. You are just fortunate that you don't have to struggle with that. Don't ever feel guilty though, you have every right to this baby and I think things will just fall into place. I am very excited for you, and you will be a great mom of three.
I think we all understand where you are coming from. But when I read when you said "Logically"...my thought was "do logic and kids go together?" :) Holly you'll be an excellent mother of 3. I don't have much advice to give on being more prepared. But I think finding a crib and getting a room put together might help you get into that mood of having a newborn again. Hang in there.
Holly, I think that it's all in the Lord's hands and when things happen it's for without a doubt a reason. You were meant to have that little baby girl right now. I'll have my chance when he's ready to send me one :)
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